On many occasions, the big problem in a relationship can be ourselves. Some problems such as jealousy, the weight of circumstances that took place in the past or other fears mean that, albeit unintentionally, you can blow up your relationship. For this reason we are going to explain how to avoid sabotage in your relationship, so that you know everything you can do to avoid it.
To begin with, you must bear in mind that in every relationship there are three clear parts, the two members of the couple and a third member, who are the “fears”. This is what Sigmund Freud claimed. The big “problem” is that the latter sometimes have much more power than the other two and this means that the relationship can be sabotaged.
Strategies to avoid sabotaging your relationship
If you are really interested in knowing how to avoid sabotage in your relationship, you should know that there are different strategies that you can carry out. With them, it is sought to achieve stability in the couple, which depends mainly on three factors, which are the following: psychological attachment; intention to solve problems and difficulties; and long-term orientation.
Although these factors can be key, in addition to all the intentions and attitudes, another key point must be taken into account in this type of case, which is the personality of each person, in addition to their internal psychology.
In any case, now we are going to talk about what you can do to prevent yourself from being to blame for the end of your relationship:
Don’t expect “everything” from your partner
A very common mistake is to think that the other person will be the one in charge of putting an end to our fears; that he is always there to solve any problem or need that we may have. That is, you should avoid always leaving yourself in the hands of the other person.
Unloading all the emotions on that person makes it possible for them to have too much burden. You can expect support, understanding and love, but not that it is the solution to all our problems.
excessive attachment
To prevent sabotage from reaching your relationship, it is also important that you try to get away from excessive attachment, that is, that love that can suffocate the other person excessively. This type of situation occurs when it is thought that the other person is everything and that, without him, we are nobody; that life without that person has no meaning.
This only causes great suffering, and causes additional concerns that can even become obsessive, such as fear of being betrayed, abandoned or that the other person loses desire, among others.
The importance of the communication
When something bothers you, you should say so. If any issue worries you, hurts you or makes you angry, you should not try to wait for the other person to guess it, but you should communicate. Communication is key in the couple and on many occasions the mistake is made of trying to wait for the other person to realize things for themselves.
Learning to communicate helps make relationships healthier.
Don’t always blame the other person
Another reason that can lead you to sabotage your relationship is always blaming the other person for everything. On many occasions it is thought that conflicts or unwanted situations have been caused by the other person, even though this is not really the case.
In fact, in couple relationships, on many occasions, problems are the responsibility of both. This can also be present when you fall into a rut. In these types of situations, the best thing to do is reflect.
Strengthen your self-esteem
Lack of self-esteem or insecurity are two factors that can destroy a relationship. When a person has a negative image of himself, it is very likely that he is seeing threats where there really are none. This fear can cause serious problems in relationships, which is why it is necessary to strengthen self-esteem to avoid sabotage in the relationship.
Prioritize strengths over weaknesses
Among the main reasons that end up causing the definitive deterioration of a relationship is giving more importance to mistakes than to successes. On many occasions we focus on those aspects in which the other person fails, does not do it or does it wrong; that is, defects and weaknesses are valued.
This is a big problem, since we focus on the negative things at the same time that we hurt him. When being in a couple relationship, virtues must be valued and defects accepted. The health of the couple will largely depend on it.
Taking love for granted in the couple
Finally, to avoid sabotage in your relationship, you must not fall into the usual mistake of taking the relationship for granted. Over time you get used to thinking that that person will always be by your side and it is taken for granted that this will be the case no matter what you do.
This causes love to progressively weaken, so by not attending properly to the relationship, it will gradually decline until it finally breaks.
All these factors are key to prevent a relationship from being destroyed. It may seem that many of these reasons are obvious, but they are really the cause of many of the conflicts that occur in the sentimental field.
For this reason we recommend that you take them into account if you are really interested in maintaining your relationship for a long time; and thus not suffer a relationship come to less with the passage of time, being able to end even with the most solid loves.
