Usually many people go to psychologists to try to deal with a problem that is more common than you might think, emotional dependence.
Also called affective dependency or relational dependency, it is a problem that occurs with increasing frequency in today’s society. This is a state that is usually manifested in relationships with other people, although it occurs to a greater extent in the case of couple relationships. Its main characteristic is that there is an imbalance in the interaction of two people.
This emotional imbalance can make one of the two parties totally dependent on the other, which ends up causing a relationship to become a destructive relationship.
This dependency is more common than one might think, being considered a type of addiction, through which a person loses control and has a dependency.
This causes the affected person to depend on another to be happy and this makes him seek at all times to satisfy the wishes of the other, even if this means leaving his own aside. Although emotional dependence is often talked about in the case of couple relationships, it can also take place between friends, relatives, etc.
Main characteristics of emotional dependence
To better understand how to manage emotional dependency, it is best to fully understand what it consists of and this happens, in part, by knowing its main characteristics, which are the following:
- Thought that you cannot live without the other person. This thought occurs in the vast majority of people who suffer from emotional dependence. Therefore, they do everything possible to continue by his side.
- Constant need to please. They strive to please the other person at all times, doing everything they want, even if it means giving up their own desires, needs and opinions.
- Fear of loneliness. People with emotional dependency have an irrational fear of being alone, and do everything possible to prevent this from happening.
- Low self-esteem. On many occasions they have low self-esteem, thinking that they are not worthy of the other person. Therefore, he seeks to satisfy that person.
- Submission. This dependency makes the person who suffers from it submissive and always puts other desires before his own.
These are just some of the characteristics of these people, who sometimes suffer from emotional dependence despite the fact that there has been violence or abuse. However, it can present you both with the existence of it and without there being any type of abuse.
Consequences of emotional dependence
The consequences of emotional dependence can be several, among which are:
- Anxiety. The thought of not being able to live without the other person leads to constant anxiety, caused by the fear that this may happen. It also happens when the other person is slow to respond.
- depression. If the other person does not correspond to what is expected, who suffers from emotional dependence can also suffer from depression, feeling that they are doing something wrong.
- Obsession. They can become obsessed with the other person and have obsessive thoughts about them, related to the things they do, their future plans, etc.
- Insomnia. All of the above can cause problems falling asleep.
- Conflicts. On the other hand, we must bear in mind that this obsession and concern for pleasing a person can cause conflicts with third parties at the same time.
How to manage emotional dependency
In the event that you feel that you or someone else is suffering from emotional dependency, there are ways to try to manage it. To begin with, it is necessary to stop idealizing the other person, that is, stop thinking that they are perfect, when the reality is that perfection does not exist.
On the other hand, it is necessary to influence assertiveness. It is necessary to resort to techniques for this, in order to stop thinking that the only objective should be to satisfy the wishes of another person. You also have to dedicate time to yourself, respecting your own wishes and needs.
Also, you have to keep guilt in mind, without having to feel guilty if the other person is not satisfied with something you do. There is no need to feel bad about this. Anxiety must also be taken into account, betting on relaxation techniques, meditation or other activities that help solve this problem that can cause so much harm.
In general, you should think that you can live without the other person. The most important thing is to understand that, in the case of couple relationships, if there is a breakup, you will be able to manage it. You should also work on your self-esteem and feel better about yourself.
In any case, when there is a great emotional dependency, it is advisable to put yourself in the hands of a professional.
