In couple relationships there are different issues that can cause chaos and great discussions between its members. One of them is jealous behavior, which has been discussed on many occasions in psychology, since there are those who see it as an indicator of “true” love and even of something that is essential in it.
This is a very persistent myth, in which it is considered that if there is no jealousy of a partner it is because he does not really love her, a thought of the ideal of romantic love that, really, is far from reality; and all this despite the fact that conflicts in relationships derived from jealousy are normalized.
In this article we are going to explain how to understand and overcome jealousy in a relationship, so that you can learn more about what it is and the best way to deal with it.
Problems after jealousy in the couple relationship
There are different psychological factors that can be found behind the jealousy that emerges in a relationship and that are related to the way in which both people communicate. On the other hand, others are given by the individual character of each person or are based on the social context itself.
Desire to control
One of the aspects that most favors the appearance of jealousy in relationships is the simple fact that the desire to control the other person has been learned. It is considered that this way of loving is the only one that exists, a retrograde vision of what it means to love.
That is to say, it is interpreted as a tool to try to minimize the possibility that that person will leave with other people. Somehow, with that jealousy it is shown that there is no trust in the other person; and this leads us to think that the bond of affection is weak.
Social pressure and gender roles
A problem closely related to the previous one is that for some people, breaking with traditional gender roles is something negative; and they consider that their relationship is not going well. In fact, there are those who act because of social pressure and make themselves look jealous when they really are not true. They simply do it to conform to the way they should theoretically behave according to social stereotypes.
Emotional dependency and low self-esteem
On many occasions, jealousy is caused by problems of low self-esteem. The dependence that a jealous person can have with respect to his partner, shows in some way an inability of this person to be able to love himself.
Having complexes, being dissatisfied with some part of your body, considering yourself inferior to others, etc., favor the appearance of jealous behavior, coupled with distrust and concern for fidelity in the couple. This situation ends up damaging both people and the relationship itself.
How to overcome jealousy in a relationship?
If you are looking for how to understand and overcome jealousy in a relationship, you will have to know how you can try to deal with it. Although in many cases it will be necessary to receive professional assistance, we give you some keys that you must take into account and apply if you find yourself in this situation:
Rule out abuse
The first thing you should do is identify if the jealousy that is taking place in the couple’s relationship involves abuse. That is, if that jealousy violates the freedoms of one of the people in the couple.
This can happen through manipulation, persistent emotional blackmail, and so on. This is a serious problem that can become a form of psychological abuse. Each person must value it and take measures in the event that it is occurring.
Set standards
For the health of the couple in which its members are jealous, it is important to set rules that make the relationship have individual freedom for both. It is necessary to talk about it and take into account those situations in which it makes no sense to give up activities, actions or decisions for the simple fact of not upsetting the other person.
Trust is fundamental in a couple relationship; and therefore, it can reach a point where you have to set a series of rules that no one should cross. Although they may seem complicated at first, over time it will benefit the relationship.
Take into account situations in which jealousy harms the relationship
It is important to talk about jealousy if it is happening. It is advisable to stop and think about the situations in which these are present and are a problem. This exercise is recommended whether there is only one person who is jealous or both members of the relationship.
It is advisable to make a list ordering them according to the discomfort they cause in each one. In this way, the couple will be more aware of this type of situation and it will be easier to deal with jealousy.
Go to a professional
As we have already mentioned, in this type of case, especially when it is a serious situation, the most advisable thing is to go to a professional. These have at their disposal all the tools and knowledge to make the couple see the negative effects of jealousy and deal with them.
